Dr. Sanity has an excellent exploration of matters of honor-shame cultures and the Arab world. After completing a first-time course on this topic last week, I am more than ever convinced that understanding these dynamics offers the key not only to the Arab-Israeli conflict, but to the global struggle right now between the West and Islam. If we want to say, along with President Bush, that the terrorists have hijacked Islam, then it makes most sense to say that honor-shame culture has hijacked Islam, and that hijacking goes back to the very origins of the religion. I repost with interlinear remarks this extremely valuable essay. [Dr. Sanity in blockquote, bold; David Gutmann (whom he quotes extensively) in blockquote, bold, italic; me in plain text no blockquote.]
SHAME, THE ARAB PSYCHE, AND ISLAM
General Comments about Shame
Shame is often an underappreciated psychological state. Particularly in the modern world, but also throughout history, shame – in limited quantities and small doses – has facilitated civilized conduct and made both individuals and cultures behave more appropriately. But healthy shame, on the other hand, keeps us in touch with reality, and reminds us of our limitations, faults, and humanity. When experiencing healthy shame an individual may not be very happy to have embarrassing weaknesses and defects made obvious, but this awareness is insightful and humbling. As long as an individual is capable of self-doubt and self-reflection about his behavior; he is able to remain open-minded and willing to search for a better understanding of himself and others.
Alain Finkielkraut referred to this problem of a shameless generation among French (Gaulois) youth, who have no problem admitting that they haven’t read their culture’s great literature. At least the last generation, which didn’t read it either, at least had the pudeur to hide that failing. In a sense, demopaths, like the Hamas leader claiming the right to “suicide operations” are shameless. The problem goes back to a humiliation so great that they have lost all sense of honor in their pursuit of restoring honor.
Excessive or inappropriate shame is another thing altogether, communicating forcibly to the individual that he or she is worthless. Shame can be an exceedingly devastating and painful experience
Children who live with constant hostility and criticism learn to defend against the bad feelings and shame within; and to externalize blame onto others. Projection and paranoia, which are both external assignments of blame, are psychological defenses against shame.
Often this excessive shame is dealt with by humiliating someone perceived as weaker or more worthless than the shamed person (e.g., the family pet, women, Gays, or outside groups serve this function for both individuals and cultures).
This tendency to pass down the shame is almost a universal instinct as anyone with more than one child knows from family dynamics. Overcoming it – not doing onto others as others have done onto you – takes real effort, both individual and cultural. In Sagan’s terms, it’s shifting from the dominating imperative (rule or be ruled) to the empathic imperative (golden rule).
Guilt is an emotion that rises after a transgression of one’s own or cultural values. Guilt is about actions or behavior; while shame is about the self. There is an important psychological difference in saying to someone that their behavior is bad; as contrasted with saying that they are bad. The former leads to guilt; the latter to shame.
I would put it slightly differently: guilt comes from an internalized sense of having done wrong; shame comes from an externalized sense of disapproval of the peer group or larger society. This is particularly significant since in shame cultures, if no one knows or finds out, it’s not wrong.
The purpose of guilt is to stop behavior that violates a self, family or societal standard. Guilt keeps score on excesses or deficits of behavior deemed undesirable and is expressed in regret and remorse.
Eventually for the shame-avoidant person, reality itself must be distorted in order to further protect the self from poor self-esteem. Blaming other individuals or groups for one’s own behavior becomes second nature, and this transfer of blame to someone else is an indicator of internal shame.
My sense is that shame can also operate in this manner: “to stop behavior that violates family or societal standards, keeping score, feeling remorse and regret… that others have seen one weak, faulty.” As a friend of mine who works on African politics put it to me: “corruption is not considered a fault, getting caught is.” The response to this, however, is more interesting: in honor cultures, it is extremely difficult to recover from shame, and generally takes shedding blood to show manliness. Women, who cannot gain honor but only lose it (their virginity/purity), have no recourse.